A Look Back

When I was younger, I didn’t have those childhoods that those in the occult say they did. You know, playing with witches, and not being interested in “normal childhood activities”.  I loved playing with dolls, action figures, stuffed animals and board games and video games. I love sports, I enjoy them all really, and I never was one that gravitated to only the “occulty” items in the store. I love pink, and other bright colors, and I stayed to myself and never really left the house. I definitely wasn’t trying to open the veil or look for creatures, them fuckers found me and I just dealt with it. It scared the shit out of me, but hell it isn’t like I really had anyone to talk to about it, even know I have a very select few I can talk about things with.

I never wanted to escape my reality and move into another dimension as a child. As an adult I want to get the fuck away from all these fuckers and humans and never be bothered again. I really can murk everyone in my life and have no problem sitting in jail for it, it has become that bad. As a child I only focused on the mundane, even though the spiritual was pulling me; I always resisted.

I didn’t really fall into it until I was 10, and even then for 3 years I was going through literally hell and psychosis in fighting against my gift, my calling, and my blood. I started writing more, and it was a part of my life that I loved. I started to get deeper into the darker things and aspects of life around that age, and it all centered on death. Only death, and torture, i even won awards when I was younger on my murder stories. I guess it concerned some of the people at the ceremonies that a child under 10, wrote a better murder/torture story then teenagers. It is a gift what can I say.

Almost 30 years later, and I want to connect to this feelings and actions again. but in a more constructive and better applied way. Focusing on my chosen path and gifts, understanding what They are showing me, and letting it flow through me with guidance and help from others who words actually mean something to me.

Being able to think, and have things shown to you, to lose a lot of shit, and watch people fall away in front of you, really makes you think…what is next.

Well I know, and it isn’t worrying about anyone else. It is what it is. All I am thinking about honestly is some chicken nuggets, fries, maybe pizza and wings, some beer, tacos, and dessert. Can’t forget the wine and mac and cheese. It really is the only thing that makes sense in this world. And animals, they are the best!

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