Serenity in the Dark

That’s me Mrs. Rusty Bones Dusty Brain. It seemed like when I am ready to move on and clean up, someone dumbs piss on the floor like it s damn skating rink lol. It’s a never ending cycle, But all I can do is mop it up, disinfect, sanitize and move forward.

Over months I had to piece together my life. The good, the bad, ugly, and then down right fucked. They say once you accept things that happen to you, and where you are in life, then it gets better. Well I’m still waiting lol.

But even that way of thinking doesn’t help. SO what do I do to knock the dust off that ass?

Sex.

Well, I need more than just sex to get my juices flowing lol (pun intended). It’s my will to strive. I have to have an arrogant attitude about my skills, talents, abilities and strengths in addition to being humble and lending a helpful hand to those I deem worthy of my time. Lol. Yes I am serious about that part. Far to long have a exerted myself for others progress. Knowing damn well I brought the tiredness upon myself though. I know I write better, work better, cook better than most. I know I have a desirable body, with an amazing mind. You have to believe and know that you are the best, that you are the main and only prize. It helps you move past those in general that live to bring everyone down to their level and lower so they can feel better about themselves. Plus it helps to bypass all that extra negativity that is flowing through the universe. Your natural talents tend to flow better with a positive state of mind.

Yet I still find it difficult to get back where I was. Running and administrating groups, writing for a variety of places and people, organizing websites, dealing with students, creating curriculums, testing, organizing, involving myself in every aspect of everything for just the sake of being helpful.

I guess I really am not looking forward to it anymore. I enjoy writing for myself. I got to a point of being tired of making and creating articles about “in depth” subjects. We act like that is all we are a bunch of in depth people. Half the mother fuckers can’t even read properly let alone even come up with an original idea on their own. Lol. Well guess what. Fuck all that in-depth thinking like I sit around reading the fucking New Yorker or watch CNN every damn hour.

I am a kid in an adult body, with a teenage-fantasy-harry-potter-mind, enjoying her self in a world of wanna be’s.

I see pleasure, peace and pain where I see fit. I have a multitude of things, personas and what not that I am.

I am a female.
I am multiracial.
I am polyamurous.
I am a wife and a girlfriend.
I am a Satanist, Vampire, Witch, Occultist, Oracle and Seer.
I am a female who sees with her eyes closed and ears open.
I am a female who hears with her eyes open and ears closed.
I am a bitch, a tyrant, a sadomasochist, and a sicko.
I am a slutty female trying to let my sexual desires be more natural instead of foreign.
I am a female that has sick and twisted desires, fantasies, and stories, and I enjoy exploring them.
I am a complicated person that hates the human race but want to help us survive and evolve.
I am a naïve and green person.
I am extremely dangerously aggressive and violent, yet strangely submissive.
I am a newbie in BDSM, yet I feel that I am home.
I am one with violence, blood, torture and abuse.
I am a walking, fucking contradiction.

And now is the time to knock the rust off.