Archive for relationships

This Can’t Be Right….

Posted in Important Posts with tags , , , , , , , , on 09/03/2016 by Keona-Mlh

heartbroken

 

Who else is tired of being in a relationship? Or tired of being with the wrong people? Or tired of thinking that you can do better for them…or they can do better for you? Sucks shit right.

I see what you going through, your heart is breaking, your are depressed. You are angry, but you want to just move on and push it aside. Well it isn’t always that easy. It takes and you want to feel that love again…even if it isn’t true. But all that does is makes you more susceptible to getting hurt again.

You listening to the songs, you have tears coming down your eyes, you really, really angry, you want to wish the worst on them. But was it all their fault? Was it all your fault? Were you both to blame? Most people love to think that they are perfect and it is always the other person. That isn’t true. We are always blinded to our own actions.

Except me.

I KNOW I am a bitch, and being in a relationship with me, is difficult as shit. I won’t lower my standards, you either running with me, or you by yourself. I am not picking you up, putting everything that I am , to make you great and you just keep it moving without helping back. I refuse to put 100% in when you can barely counter with 50%. I am not easy to get to, for good reason, and my level of trust for people is at 2%. SO good luck.

Aren’t you tired of being blamed for shit you didn’t do, or could have done in their mind. Aren’t you tired of the rules in a relationship? Like since you are no longer single, you can’t have friends, you can’t stay up at night and talk to really good friends, because our society treats cheating as it is the best thing in the world. That you no longer know what it means to tell the truth and be honest to people anymore. People are lying more and it has become a way of life. When you tell lies after lies, just because you can…there is a problem.

At this point in my life…I’m in my (now) later 30’s and I am really done with all relationships. They have become pointless. And marriage is a joke, did that, twice, never again. No one is worthy of what I have to bring to the table. No dude or bitch. I am tired of them both, and whatever else lies in the middle. Everyone, or actually let me be fair, a good portion of people have become shit and ruin it for others around them.

I just rather fuck who I want to fuck, talk to people when I FEEL like it. I don’t want to be bothered with texting people everyday, hell I don’t even want to talk to them either. Yeah, it is that serious. Hey they brought it one themselves, so I am just obliging.

The only thing in my life that matters, are my parents, my spiritual progress, and my academic pursuits and career. That is all that should ever matter.

People no longer want to take the time to get to know one another, to talk, go out and eat and drink and just try to see what interests that other people have, without fucking. No one wants to invest time into people for a few years to get to really know them. It is all about we click, the sex good, they cool, bet let’s move in and build a life together and pray it works out. Nope, I am not doing that you again. If you can’t make that effort for a person that you are looking to get to know then just stick with the hoes and niggas, and fuckboys or whatever else you call these losers. It is plenty of them around, but it is not a lot of good people around anymore.

In a few I won’t be good either. When I set my mind to officially do me, shit is lost forever.

Losing the Desire

Posted in Important Posts with tags , , , , , on 07/28/2013 by Keona-Mlh

For as long as I can remember I have always loved women. I only messed with women. From like age 7 to 16. Then I met a boy and all hell broke loose. Went down the hill from there. Apparently I don’t know how to pick a good man or a decent one, and just let bullshit happen to me instead of just walking away.

As I turned 19, I realize that men are pretty much garbage and started back dating women. Those bitches where crazy. Worse than the men. But then again they were my choices. So I dated both and just tried to see what’s going on. Most females I wanted to be with pretty much only wanted to play and go back to their man. I, on the other hand was looking for a relationship. I swear women are crazy you know.

At 25 I started losing the desire for men. It would be more of a back and forth. Some years dating both, some years dating one or the other.

Now that I’m 32 I know I am looking for females to be with for life. Which is utterly difficult because I’m poly and they just don’t understand what it means. I have two men in my life. A husband and a boyfriend. That’s more than enough dick and I’m kinda bored with it. I have a female friend, but she seems like the rest, more interested in dudes than a feminine relationship. So my boyfriend told me to go out and date. See if there is a female out there who excepts me for me and my life choices. I have a lot of friends who are happy in their poly relationship. Some living in the same home, others who don’t. They do let me know that it takes time.

I’m not looking for a female who wants a threesome or an orgy. I’m looking for a woman who wants me, is open minded and understand that I can love more than one person at a time, and understand the meaning of a honest, Open and highly communicative relationship. Intimacy is important but understanding is better.

So I think I’m going to do just that. Date. Enjoy myself and make new friendships. Life is to sort to conform to unhappiness. So I’m making my own.

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