This spread was one I was kind of dreading given my current love situation. But it was very deep and it reassured me I was doing everything right and there are just some things that I cannot change, and some things that I will have to understand more and just let go and take it for what it is, if this is where I really want to be.
1 fire, 1 water, 1 trump
What is the current state of my heart?
What do I need to release in order for me to heal?
What do I need to accept with unconditional love?
Who else is tired of being in a relationship? Or tired of being with the wrong people? Or tired of thinking that you can do better for them…or they can do better for you? Sucks shit right.
I see what you going through, your heart is breaking, your are depressed. You are angry, but you want to just move on and push it aside. Well it isn’t always that easy. It takes and you want to feel that love again…even if it isn’t true. But all that does is makes you more susceptible to getting hurt again.
You listening to the songs, you have tears coming down your eyes, you really, really angry, you want to wish the worst on them. But was it all their fault? Was it all your fault? Were you both to blame? Most people love to think that they are perfect and it is always the other person. That isn’t true. We are always blinded to our own actions.
Except me.
I KNOW I am a bitch, and being in a relationship with me, is difficult as shit. I won’t lower my standards, you either running with me, or you by yourself. I am not picking you up, putting everything that I am , to make you great and you just keep it moving without helping back. I refuse to put 100% in when you can barely counter with 50%. I am not easy to get to, for good reason, and my level of trust for people is at 2%. SO good luck.
Aren’t you tired of being blamed for shit you didn’t do, or could have done in their mind. Aren’t you tired of the rules in a relationship? Like since you are no longer single, you can’t have friends, you can’t stay up at night and talk to really good friends, because our society treats cheating as it is the best thing in the world. That you no longer know what it means to tell the truth and be honest to people anymore. People are lying more and it has become a way of life. When you tell lies after lies, just because you can…there is a problem.
At this point in my life…I’m in my (now) later 30’s and I am really done with all relationships. They have become pointless. And marriage is a joke, did that, twice, never again. No one is worthy of what I have to bring to the table. No dude or bitch. I am tired of them both, and whatever else lies in the middle. Everyone, or actually let me be fair, a good portion of people have become shit and ruin it for others around them.
I just rather fuck who I want to fuck, talk to people when I FEEL like it. I don’t want to be bothered with texting people everyday, hell I don’t even want to talk to them either. Yeah, it is that serious. Hey they brought it one themselves, so I am just obliging.
The only thing in my life that matters, are my parents, my spiritual progress, and my academic pursuits and career. That is all that should ever matter.
People no longer want to take the time to get to know one another, to talk, go out and eat and drink and just try to see what interests that other people have, without fucking. No one wants to invest time into people for a few years to get to really know them. It is all about we click, the sex good, they cool, bet let’s move in and build a life together and pray it works out. Nope, I am not doing that you again. If you can’t make that effort for a person that you are looking to get to know then just stick with the hoes and niggas, and fuckboys or whatever else you call these losers. It is plenty of them around, but it is not a lot of good people around anymore.
In a few I won’t be good either. When I set my mind to officially do me, shit is lost forever.
It has been a long road and the New Year has started out to something that was unexpected, yet oh so wonderful and deserved. I have had the best time chilling with a new love in my life. One that I never ever expected, but isn’t that how it always is?
The unexpected blessings in life. The people in your life who really deserve to be there. The people who are lost, and who have been removed may have been a painful process, but in the end you feel better than you ever had in life.
I am on a new path to love, life and happiness. I am fulfilled mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. I have never felt this much bliss in my life before. And I enjoy every moment that I can spend with him, and that I can spend with my family. I dont change or try to be a new me, only a better me.
I love the feel of Nylon rope. Its thick, heavy, and it also ties beautifully. I love the wide eyes look you have when you feel the rope tighten. To watch the breath slip out of your throat, to here you gasp in desperation. Your teeth are clenching as you try to tighten your throat against my pull. But wait, I have a surprise for you. I move behind you and place a kiss on your ear, right before I bring the bag over your face and pull tight.
Making sure you are oh so uncomfortable, and in a panic, I watch your eyes as they connect with mine in the mirror. I wore that favorite dress you brought me with those high heels you like. You know, the same ones you brought her. Wasn’t expecting to see her in the bed, tied and dripping her crimson wetness on our floor. She wasn’t much fun, than again when you slit someones throat open and gut them like a fish, they don’t fight back to much. Too bad. I really enjoyed her muffled screams as I cut her throat, just enough so we can have a few minutes together. That precious time between wife and mistress. But she couldn’t take the penetration, as I cut her open from chest to that belly, of me reaching inside her body and slowly pulling her intestines out. But I took great pleasure in cracking open her rib cage and squeezing her heart till she died. Her kisses were sweet in that last moment.
I see a tear come down your face as you are slowly losing the battle to live. You should have thought better than to cheat on me. I a your wife, not a common whore. We built 20 years of love, three children and careers that are friends envy. You were greedy. You never asked me if i wanted to try something new. She would have been ours to share my love.
Suffocate. Die. Cry. Panic.
You deserve the slowest possible death that I can give you. Why? Because as my husband you only deserve the best. let me kiss you one last time. Let me feel the heat of the bag upon my warm lips.
Let me kiss you goodnight.
Bloodlust
The nights are dark.
They wrap around me in velvet layers.
Only the tips of wings show.
I can still taste her on my lips.
The deep entrapment of sweet love is still swirling through my veins.
Walking through the night is a lovely way to meet her again.
The soft flesh which my fangs pierced.
The flood of pure sweet blood ravishing my mouth.
Trying not to spill a drop, amazed at how good it feels.
The addiction is strong.
The limpness of her body as she submits to my will.
The caress of her hands on my cloak, hanging on to my wings for dear life.
There has never been one as sweet as you.
I will find you again.
I will never let you go.
~Rev Keona
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