I sit down and reflect about the path I am on. I see the array of possibilities opening up to me. I want to be free, I want to yell it to the top. But why should I. Do I feel ashamed. Loss of my job? Clientele? Prejudice at school and among colleagues? Yes. No. All of the above. At times I doubt what it means to be a Satanist. I feel at times that I am not good enough to represent Father, but I realize I have lost my mind. It is in that moment I saw clarity. My own insecurities, trying to please all, trying to friend all. Fuck it. The only people I need in my life are my parents, my man and Satan. He holds me up, reassure me, helps me and guides me, let’s me regain my connection. I have weathered the storm and I came out stronger than before. I rather have allies instead of friends. I need only them. I need Satan as he walks with me. I see the foolishness I have been apart of. I am leery and tired of stepping in bullshit. My spirituality awakens me to my most primal. I am a child of the dark, a child of him. With him as guidance I will break away and destroy my own insecurities. I will be a voice, striving for equality and top seed in this world along with others. It is time for me to help others see that Satanism strives for equality. We are involved in politics, academia, national affairs. We do not commit crimes for the hell of it. We strive to maintain balance in our lives and in those around us. To open peoples mind so they can see what others have stolen and hidden from them. We seek to enlighten all. Open your mind, awaken yourself from that dead sleep you have been in.
I am a Satanist. I will not let those determine my voice. My style. Nor my direction in life. Friends come and go….Blood is thicker than water….Family is the first to fuck you. But you have to push past it all and keep it moving…never let anything or anyone break your stride. They may knock us off-balance every so often…but not enough to STOP US. All I need in my life is the love of Satan, his wisdom and my man working together so we can take down the idiocy that has stricken this world. My path is one less traveled, always overlooked and passed over. That is just fine with me.
I have survived with broken limbs, torn ligaments, and bumps and bruises. My battle scars. It all leads up to strength that I have had in myself to continue and let nothing get in my way. Pain is what tells you how far you have come. No pain , no gain Life is not easy…and anything worth fighting for will drive you crazy.
I will stand among the Satanists of my era.
I will stand as a leader guiding more to their calling and to enlightenment.
I do not need you to validate me.
I am a Satanist. I can validate my damn self.
(c) Keona
Serenity in the Dark 