Archive for anguish

#domagick Day 11

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , on 12/11/2017 by Keona-Mlh

“The ties that Bind” My theme for working with BaalBerith this morning. 
He didn’t appear for the beginning it was just light darkness with his sigil burning in the air. 6 areas to be exact. It is like they were branded on the wall. When they cooled they formed doors. I learned not to open door in meditation. That’s just a whole new thing that I’m not ready to start right now. However he had different plans. He grabbed my hand and threw me towards the door. I ended up floating and passing through the door and landing on my feet. It was like slow motion of me entering every door who threw me in.

Patience,  Humility, Compassion, Protection, Self Love and Truth ( Mirror) where behind those doors.

Walking with him his touch was ice cold, which I wasn’t ready for. I felt weightless. Like I was walking through clouds, walking on notbing, feeling nothing. I was smelling fresh cut grass and wood. He has an Earthy feel to me. I’ve worked with him only a few times, but enough to memorize his element. 

He had me walking through the woods.  I saw my feet walking effortless through these leaves with no issues. I cam to a tree that was extremely huge. It reminds me of those giant redwoods in California.  Carved deep within the trunk was his enn, his very complicated sigil. I told him his sigil needs to come with directions on which and where to start. He smiled. Underneath that was the Daemonaltry sigil, and one of the Houses sigil. Surrounding the tree was moss. The branches where so tall I couldn’t see them, but I know they were blocking the light above us. The roots reached out for a few hundred feet. The tree itself was very cool to the touch and you felt the beating of its heart. Slow and methodical.

I sit under the tree and a branch shoots through my sjoulder. 4 to be exact. Looks like some Earth workings are on their way. Once they pulled out, the wounds healed and I really felt like I was one with the tree. I just keep hearing Self.

The card I drew was No Place like Home, protection pose. Well, let’s just say this slapped the taste out of my mouth and confirmed a lot of what has been happening with me lol. 

#domagick  Day 10

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , , , on 12/10/2017 by Keona-Mlh

This has to be the most emotionally draining meditations I have done. It is all for me to improve myself, but we all know that old wounds reopen are the most painful.

Baal Inuakhem Corvinus is another personal Daemon. He is the Lycan Side, that in depth knowledge of oneself.

It was an ominous vibe with him, I asked him while and he said because he is an ominous being. Lol, I’m going to need him and Vercerah to stop with the theatrics. They have been observing humans way to long lol. In smoke gray setting, he invited me to sit down and talk to him. He had a slice of New York Cheesecake, with strawberries on it and whipped cream and a cup of coffee. Like my favorite dessert. He, surprisingly had chocolate cake and milk. I think it is milk, or a milk like substance.

“Fuck life before it Fucks you”
That is the lesson he is teaching me. He opened up so much pain within me that I actually forgot about.  He said I can just move on. I have to confront it and work with it, to understand it.

He said there is no starting over. Just continuing.  I have started over too many times and never kept going because the obstacles really knocked the breath out of me. Knocked me down so bad that their are no regular tears, just look tears. Filled with misery dropping from body.

Slashes with his nails, exposing the pain I have been hiding, the pain I have forgotten, the pain I had pushed deep down, the realizations of being wanted and needed, he is opening them. Raw emotions he is asking me to grab on to.

My shadow self needs a whole lot more work than I thought. He is that bestia side, the one that doesn’t hesitates that goes for it. It is what I need to release. I go for half then stop, feeling some type of way.

He told me to pull cards 2, 8 and 4. Chop Wood protection pose, Orphaned protection pose, and Mending right side up.

Chop Wood protection, tells me to stop daydreaming and make it happen. If I take a step, they will take multiple steps towards me in my pursuit. I just need to stop being scared and take that first step out of my comfort zone

Orphaned protection , is one I choose not to share.

Mending, I’d self explanatory within the context of my vision.

This vision, meditation, reading took a sever toll on me. I will be working and contemplating for a while. 

The Fight Has Started

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , on 09/20/2013 by Keona-Mlh

The Fight Has Started

The war you started
Has begun
I have what you want
You plot with him
Plan with him
I am your child
How can you do these things?
Jealousy?
No, it can’t be
Or could it be
I see how you look at me
I see how he interacts with mine
There is love shown
Always for you
I never denied you
But you denied me
I have no choice but to deal
My tears fall
But never wiped away

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