Archive for emotions

#domagick Day 26

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , on 12/26/2017 by Keona-Mlh

The Brain, the Heart, the Body. 

This meditation was extremely personal.  So the following happened. 

Felt an abundance of pure love and support. 

Cried a lot. Good tears.

No card was drawn. 

#domagick  Day 10

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , , , on 12/10/2017 by Keona-Mlh

This has to be the most emotionally draining meditations I have done. It is all for me to improve myself, but we all know that old wounds reopen are the most painful.

Baal Inuakhem Corvinus is another personal Daemon. He is the Lycan Side, that in depth knowledge of oneself.

It was an ominous vibe with him, I asked him while and he said because he is an ominous being. Lol, I’m going to need him and Vercerah to stop with the theatrics. They have been observing humans way to long lol. In smoke gray setting, he invited me to sit down and talk to him. He had a slice of New York Cheesecake, with strawberries on it and whipped cream and a cup of coffee. Like my favorite dessert. He, surprisingly had chocolate cake and milk. I think it is milk, or a milk like substance.

“Fuck life before it Fucks you”
That is the lesson he is teaching me. He opened up so much pain within me that I actually forgot about.  He said I can just move on. I have to confront it and work with it, to understand it.

He said there is no starting over. Just continuing.  I have started over too many times and never kept going because the obstacles really knocked the breath out of me. Knocked me down so bad that their are no regular tears, just look tears. Filled with misery dropping from body.

Slashes with his nails, exposing the pain I have been hiding, the pain I have forgotten, the pain I had pushed deep down, the realizations of being wanted and needed, he is opening them. Raw emotions he is asking me to grab on to.

My shadow self needs a whole lot more work than I thought. He is that bestia side, the one that doesn’t hesitates that goes for it. It is what I need to release. I go for half then stop, feeling some type of way.

He told me to pull cards 2, 8 and 4. Chop Wood protection pose, Orphaned protection pose, and Mending right side up.

Chop Wood protection, tells me to stop daydreaming and make it happen. If I take a step, they will take multiple steps towards me in my pursuit. I just need to stop being scared and take that first step out of my comfort zone

Orphaned protection , is one I choose not to share.

Mending, I’d self explanatory within the context of my vision.

This vision, meditation, reading took a sever toll on me. I will be working and contemplating for a while. 

Self-work is difficult

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , on 04/27/2017 by Keona-Mlh

I mean you get to what is going on in your life. Your guardians are there, helping you, guiding you. And what happens, you get ripped apart to help build you back up. That has got to be the worst thing, well not really but it is, in getting yourself back on track.

I love the fact that they removed items from my path so I can truly focus on what I am supposed to focus on. I mean damn, it is a lot of shit that needs my attention, and there are things that I didn’t think I would be doing that I am. But it is all for the better right?

It better be, my emotions are a wreck lol!

If you don’t get rid of things that are a waste, or things that are stagnant, you pretty much going to screw yourself. So I am here, with my emotions just a wreck, taking parts of me out and throwing them away, and I look and feel horrible lol. At the end of the year, before my 9 year anniversary as a dedicated Satanist, I should be flushed, in a better position and ready to start my new training lol.

Damn this is going to be a rough year lol!

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