Archive for healing

#domagick The Burden of seeing clearly

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , , on 02/24/2018 by Keona-Mlh

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When you open up and can clearly see your faults, you change. I felt bitterness for being everyone’s punching bag and shit collecting container. Always getting the fucked up end and sometimes the whole part of relationships, so they can leave me mentally, emotionally, and physically broken and then show the next lover how amazing they are, and then people telling me you had to be horrible because he does everything for her, or me. Like really, break my life, break my spirit, break me down and then show the next one your heart. I have a mouth on me don’t get me wrong, and I am strong and will not allow you to treat me like shit, but there is only but so much a woman or man can take in a relationship. And I spent almost 20 of my 37 years in this cycle of emotional abuse, mental abuse and physical abuse.

But somehow, I still look for love, partnership(s), and hope for a better life. Talk about staying strong and looking for hope right lol. Glutton for punishment. But life and people aren’t all that bad are they. What was needed in my life of being here that these were the relationships that i gravitated to, seemed to seek out. What was so broken within myself that I felt these were worth (not sure that is the word I am looking for) my nervous breakdowns, the contemplating of suicide, the trying to do it?

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There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. But do you run towards it or do you hesitate? Is it a break form the abuse, or is it more that needs to get through you? What is at the end of the tunnel? I never want to know. I shy away form the light, but subconsciously run right to that bitch lol. I don’t believe people when they say they have everything fine in their life. I know it is a lie. If so, then why the fuck you still here? To guide others, yes because maybe that is a part of your life in the past that you failed at horribly. No one wants to be here, I would not volunteer for this shit ever again lol. We are voluntold (Military)that we are coming back. And we make the best of it and try to do better. When i get dejavu, I know that I need to pay attention for when it comes back up. Or I will be right back in this bitch, like see, you didn’t listen last time, now look at you. But sometimes they are not the times when I went wrong, they are the times that I get the warm feelys lol, the good sensations, like you were supposed to be here last time, so we are gad you made it this time around.

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These are the painful moments of my life. But I can’t look past them, my higher self won’t allow me too. After all, what good would that do? Not a damn thing. Insightful? Hell yes! This entire working is insightful, and it gives my the foundation that I need to do a deeper working on it at a later time. When I can devote a lot of energy to it. That is what I love about these 30 day challenges. You can get the ball rolling and ID your issues and then make a plan to execute them.

I can see others perfectly, no issues, no drama, no nothing. But I can’t see shit for myself lol. But it is fine. I am getting better in time, and with time, it is only going to strength. After all years ago I saw something in a Black Mirror when I didn’t have control over my abilities and it scared me for almost 2 decades. But now I think, I know I have the abilities and capabilities to reach out and UNDERSTAND what it is that I need to see.

#domagick The Sickness

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , on 02/19/2018 by Keona-Mlh

So I woke up with the stiff neck, swollen throat and terrible migraine. I still managed to do my pose and meditation even with the discomfort.

Went to class, took an exam and left, couldn’t continue. Eyes were blurry, throat wad hurting and I felt nauseated.

Came home had some theraflu, soup, and lit my candle and tried to work some healing magick. I had my babies help me and they were sending me energy while my bf was working on me woke up refresh hours later, and now I’m calling out of school for tomorrow lol. Talk about one hell of a day with my chakra lol.

Tomorrow should be interesting to say the least.

#domagick Sore Throat

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , , on 02/18/2018 by Keona-Mlh

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I awoke with a sore throat. Great, what a way to work with the chakra. On my cycle for the sacral and know a sore throat for the throat lol. Man. Anyway, I got up and did my morning meditation, noting how bright the light is shining. I then did the lions pose, and it was very enlightening. I felt the, I felt a growing and pulling from my throat. I felt it swell, I felt it heat up.

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This pose was really weird, but the overall effect that I received from it was very opening to say the least. I did it a few times, and each time i felt clearing, without the soreness in my throat. But for that I also am drinking peppermint tea. I don’t want to take advantage and think it is nothing and then be sick as a dog. I will be making sure I am fine so I don’t get sick. I haven’t been sick this whole season or in years, and I don’t plan on being sick now.

My meditation this morning was a lot longer than the norm, and it was a welcome change.

#domagick Throat Chakra

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , , , on 02/17/2018 by Keona-Mlh

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To be honest this is the scariest chakra for me to work on. Even more so than the heart. Why? Because I have a difficult time expressing myself via words. My actions can be abrupt or misleading because I have a fucked up way of communicating with people. This is more so the case with 2 of my partners, both Geminis’, who are nothing but communication. So I have to figure out how to really express myself with it sounding like I don’t care, or I am overly emotional. It is such a balancing act that it irks me lol.

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It is the one chakra that I have to constantly monitor, one that I constantly worry about, the only one in which I am concerned more than the others. I did a spread and of course I have things to hammer out. I always do. It seems to be the chakra that needs like a lifetime of working done on it. I always make 2 steps forward but 90 back and it is frustrating. Finding my voice is a lot more difficult than what I have ever imagined it would be. I can barely let the truth of my own self escape my lips, let I council others and expose the truth they refuse to listen to and see. I guess it is always like that, you can give great advice but can’t follow your own.

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This is the pose that I will be doing. It looks weird and I have no doubt will feel weird as hell to do. But I do understand the purpose of it, and why this position helps. In releasing and opening up and loosening those vocal cords. Giving you that go for the release of voice, the release of self. These next three days and tonight should be very wonderful, and of course fucking nerve-racking just because of how I am and my fear with this chakra. But I shouldn’t be scared. I should just let it flow from me, give in and relax and let it tumble out. Not be mean spirited to myself but just try to do some exercises that will help push me forward.

An interesting time indeed.

#domagick The Lock and Key

Posted in Rituals and Workings with tags , , , , , , , on 02/16/2018 by Keona-Mlh

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This morning my candles shown brightly more than I have ever seen it do so far. The light that extended was just amazing. Doing my yoga pose, I felt and heard and saw the alignment of my three hearts, heard them lock and saw the bright pink slash just go through them. I felt peace, I felt relaxation. I know what I have to do to maintain this feeling and move forward, The New Moon spread correlates to my Heart chakra spread and it always leads me on a good path. Tomorrow is the throat and I can’t wait to see what needs to be said.

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