Serenity in the Dark

LATE POST!!!!!!!

Let me tell you I am beyond drained. I did a shit load of invocations, got yelled at and then I was just going crazy.

Now the beginning was really good, I started out with my Patron Leviathan, and from there I let the workings dictate what I needed to do to clear my mind. I swear, I sit with retards all day, well about 2-3 of them and I just want to reach over and slit their throats…just think of it as a late term abortion. But I have to calm my violent thoughts and push them out my mind. I mean all that tension is going to drive me crazy…well crazier if you think about it.

I worked through the tarot and I have less than 10 cards left. So I am waiting for those to be finish before I put up part one of my interpretation. The cards themselves have brought so much insight into this reflection of who I was. It also helped that my partner was the one tapping into my energy and pulling the cards for me, being an empath he was bringing things out that I didn’t want to face yet, shit. But it had to be down. Some days the info was looking right at me, other days I had to rack my brain to realize he pulled deep from my core, on those days it rattled me and frustrated me. But what was I to do, stop? Hell no! I kept going. I actually like that, and plan on working with my other 2 tarot decks the same way. See how each deck resonates with me and what I can pull from them and myself.

I sat down with my guardian to go through all my workings and got a few projects pushed back, and quite a few moved to the top of the list, some on standby and waiting for the major projects to be done. I attempted a mock schedule today for the next 245 day working, and that went to shit this morning. We have this MLT week at school so we have all these dumb ass projects that we have to do that will be cutting into my spiritual and rebuilding time, plus studying takes at least 4 hours out my day minimum, not to mention the puppies, my family, and doctor appointments and the travel time. So I am like shit. Have to rearrange them so I can get everything down and leaving time during the weekday for stupid shit. I was able to get in my morning and nightly prayers, and visualizations in. I read/finished one of my books, and I am now blogging which I should have done yesterday. But it caught the best of me and I was wrapped up in last minute cleaning, organizing and school prep.

I did a lot of invocations, the 9 Divinities, Lilith, Satan, Leviathan, Sekhmet, Hecate, Lucifer and Belial. I did a New Moon and a Full Moon ritual. I did a 6 day ritual and a 2 day initiation. I started back on a class that I need to buy more clay, more wood and I need a wood burning kit. I just made a list of all the shit I am going to need and it is a lot of it.

I also started working with poisons, taking them slowly, a few drops at a time and working my way up. Steph made me some tinctures, and Ginger gave me some good ass advice and information. So I am set to go and so far, no ill effects, and I am not trying to see any either. I do listen to my guardian as he hates the idea, because I am hard headed, but not this type of hardheaded, I listen very closely.

I have 6 Covens I am actively apart of, and doing work in and for. I have 3 path workings that are all being revamped and worked on. I have 6 personal workings that I am working on for myself, and the huge 245 working is apart of all of these things. I have some rough roads to go down, a lot of tasks given to me, a lot of assignments to complete and plenty of writings to get down.  I have goals of what I want to do everyday, because hey, I am still human and I do forget and slack off. If you say you don’t , you are full of shit.

What I want to and have almost tried to put into everyday was the following:

Morning prayer to patron and affirmation/visualization

Evening prayer to matron and visualization

Grounding with Belial

Tarot working

Conscious eating, exercise

Time to communicate with guardian

Yoga, Psychic workings, trance work

Yeah I got 6, almost of those things done which is good. It adds up to 3 hours a day.  I spend 5 hours in school (actually I am at school around 630 am and leave around 130) so actually 7 hours to include driving. Then roughly 3-4 hours of homework and study ( I am in a medical program so this shit is no joke, 15 wk course done in 3 wk, talk about being fucking accelerated) so school work is roughly 11 hours a day but luckily only 4 days a week. But that doesn’t include time to bath and wind done ad eating and talking to the family and breathing so add like another 3-4 hours. That brings me up to 13-15 hrs and I haven’t done any spirit work yet lol. So add in the 3 hours and I am up to 16-18 hours. Now I only get like 5 hours of sleep in during the weekday…sometimes less depending on if its test day or I am working on a school assignment. On the weekends I have a better chance at doing what needs to be done, which is sleeping lol, having a day with no school work done, and running errands and trying to get shit together. Man it is difficult. But it is something that I can and will manage. No one said this shit was easy, but it is worth it.

I relaxed and had days where I didn’t do a lot of spirit work, just the Goetia and Tarot cards, and those days I just slept lol. I did a lot of dream work, so I guess that counts lol. Oh and when I need to go to the doctors, that is like 2-4 hours of bullshit out your day because we all hate going to the doctors, with these long as waits for no fucking reason lol.

But I managed to get through all 28 days and do something everyday. The last day I did my goetia, tarot, and my ritual and invocation to Sehkmet, my Matron. She closed out the workings and it was beautiful.