Who else is tired of being in a relationship? Or tired of being with the wrong people? Or tired of thinking that you can do better for them…or they can do better for you? Sucks shit right.
I see what you going through, your heart is breaking, your are depressed. You are angry, but you want to just move on and push it aside. Well it isn’t always that easy. It takes and you want to feel that love again…even if it isn’t true. But all that does is makes you more susceptible to getting hurt again.
You listening to the songs, you have tears coming down your eyes, you really, really angry, you want to wish the worst on them. But was it all their fault? Was it all your fault? Were you both to blame? Most people love to think that they are perfect and it is always the other person. That isn’t true. We are always blinded to our own actions.
Except me.
I KNOW I am a bitch, and being in a relationship with me, is difficult as shit. I won’t lower my standards, you either running with me, or you by yourself. I am not picking you up, putting everything that I am , to make you great and you just keep it moving without helping back. I refuse to put 100% in when you can barely counter with 50%. I am not easy to get to, for good reason, and my level of trust for people is at 2%. SO good luck.
Aren’t you tired of being blamed for shit you didn’t do, or could have done in their mind. Aren’t you tired of the rules in a relationship? Like since you are no longer single, you can’t have friends, you can’t stay up at night and talk to really good friends, because our society treats cheating as it is the best thing in the world. That you no longer know what it means to tell the truth and be honest to people anymore. People are lying more and it has become a way of life. When you tell lies after lies, just because you can…there is a problem.
At this point in my life…I’m in my (now) later 30’s and I am really done with all relationships. They have become pointless. And marriage is a joke, did that, twice, never again. No one is worthy of what I have to bring to the table. No dude or bitch. I am tired of them both, and whatever else lies in the middle. Everyone, or actually let me be fair, a good portion of people have become shit and ruin it for others around them.
I just rather fuck who I want to fuck, talk to people when I FEEL like it. I don’t want to be bothered with texting people everyday, hell I don’t even want to talk to them either. Yeah, it is that serious. Hey they brought it one themselves, so I am just obliging.
The only thing in my life that matters, are my parents, my spiritual progress, and my academic pursuits and career. That is all that should ever matter.
People no longer want to take the time to get to know one another, to talk, go out and eat and drink and just try to see what interests that other people have, without fucking. No one wants to invest time into people for a few years to get to really know them. It is all about we click, the sex good, they cool, bet let’s move in and build a life together and pray it works out. Nope, I am not doing that you again. If you can’t make that effort for a person that you are looking to get to know then just stick with the hoes and niggas, and fuckboys or whatever else you call these losers. It is plenty of them around, but it is not a lot of good people around anymore.
In a few I won’t be good either. When I set my mind to officially do me, shit is lost forever.
Today was the New Moon, and I did take full advantage of it. I did a mind, spirit and body healing. It was an hour long, and it had some interesting results, but it was much needed. My candle is still burning so I will let it continue through out the night. Well not really, I will snuff it out and then let it burn tomorrow. My smoke detector is sensitive as hell, and last thing I need is startling the house and the animals…again.
Serenity in the Dark 